Love in Every Detail: The Importance of Who Stands Beside You

More Than a Formality: The Officiant as the Heartbeat

When people picture a wedding ceremony, they often think of the vows, the music, the flowers, and the I dos. But at the center of it all is the officiant—the person who holds space for your love story, guides you through your most vulnerable moments, and sets the tone for everything that follows.

For us, that person was Jenna’s older brother, Zach. We cannot overstate how meaningful it was to have someone who truly knew us standing by our side. He wrote his own ceremony script word for word with delicate care; he was grounding us, anchoring the moment, and helping us feel safe and seen.

Why the Officiant Matters More Than You Think

Choosing your officiant is one of the most important decisions you will make for your wedding day. This is the person you look to when your nerves are fluttering, when your heart is pounding, and when you need a steadying presence. Your officiant should be someone who brings you peace, calm, and trust—someone whose presence makes you feel at home.

The right officiant turns a ceremony from a series of formalities into an experience that is deeply personal and unforgettable. This person becomes the storyteller, the guide, and the witness to your promises. Their words and energy shape the entire ceremony, creating space for laughter, tears, and everything in between.

The Gift of a Thoughtful Officiant: Our Experience with Zach

One of the greatest gifts we received on our wedding day was having Jenna’s older brother, Zach, as our officiant. What made his role so meaningful was not just that he is family. It was the intention and care he brought to every step of the process.

Before the ceremony, Zach spent real time with us. He gathered stories—some that made us laugh, others that brought tears. He asked about our hardships, our inside jokes, our love story, and the symbols and meanings that felt most true to us as a couple. He wanted to know not just what brought us together, but what completes us, what keeps us going, and what we hope for the future.

Zach wanted to honor us. He helped us prioritize finding a moment of peace with our guests, encouraging us to be present with our audience and with each other. Just before our personal vow readings (which we knew would be emotional), he guided us to pause, breathe, and center ourselves. That intentional pause—standing together, holding hands, and feeling grounded—made all the difference. It allowed us to step fully into the moment, connect more deeply, and share our vows with authenticity and trust.

He also encouraged us to truly take in our surroundings. There we were, on a scenic hilltop escape in Germany, surrounded by our closest family and friends. We overlooked forests of trees, lush grass, and fields of yellow flowers dotted with dandelions.

Birds were chirping, the air was fresh, and it felt like the world had paused just for us. It was breathtaking, it was otherworldly, and it instantly became a core memory—a snapshot in our minds we will never forget. We could even hear the sniffles of our guests, including our violinist and pianist. That is how deeply everyone felt the moment.

Looking back, choosing Zach as our officiant was one of the most meaningful decisions we made. Family is everything to us, and it mattered deeply that this role was filled by someone who would truly honor our story and our values. Having Jenna’s older brother guide us through our ceremony made it so much more than a formality. It became a celebration of who we are, what we cherish, and the people who have shaped our journey. The experience felt safe, sacred, and unforgettable—exactly as it should be when you are surrounded by those who love you most.

The Timeless Symbolism

There is a simple, timeless beauty in a wedding ceremony. At its core, it is about two people, surrounded by love, making a promise to one another. The officiant is the thread that ties all the details together, helping you honor the past, celebrate the present, and look forward to the future.

And in 2025, your ceremony can be anything you want it to be. There are no rules—only what feels right for you. Whether you choose a sibling, a parent, a lifelong friend, or someone else entirely, let your officiant reflect your story and your values.

Tips for Choosing Your Officiant

• Trust your instinct: Pick someone who makes you feel calm and supported.

• Look for authenticity: Choose someone who knows your story or is willing to learn it.

• Prioritize comfort: You should feel safe and at ease in their presence.

• Communicate your vision: Share what matters to you about the ceremony.

• Support them: If they are not a professional, provide resources, sample scripts, or a rehearsal.

  
  

Final Thoughts

The right officiant does more than guide your ceremony. They help you feel anchored, understood, and celebrated. It is a small, intentional choice that can ripple out, shaping the entire wedding experience.

If you are planning your ceremony and wondering who should stand with you, try and remember: it is your story, your day, and your hearts at the center of it all.